A little sum-sum for myself Part 3

Bringing the train into the station...I started this with a story so lets finish it with a story. Remember Cinderella, She had a man in her life who loved her and cared for her, her father. Then he remarried and died. She lost her man and gained three females. She was relegated to the fireplace and thus her name "Cinder"rella. Day in and day out she was subservient to others. Then a prince came to town, he held a ball, she was able to go, they met and he was exactly what she needed. In some stories she asked her step family to come live with them, but in most she sends them away in shame. So if you are a female, you just need a man in your life to make you happy and complete. Is it any wonder we simply expect them to know where to scratch without telling them we have an itch and that its on the back of your knee? Good girls find a man, put everything they have into being what he wants. How did Cinderella and her Godmother know what he wanted...magic thinking...happens alot with dysfunctional folks. Was this all Cinderella wanted out of life? I bet after a couple of months in the Palace Cinderella wanted to go "find herself". She spent all that time doing for her step family and then she became Mrs Charming and began to do whatever was expected of her again. I bet she didn't have a clue, she might even be the great great great grandmother of the chick from "Coming to America", (whatever you like). I titled these 3 post "a little sum-sum for myself" because we as women (sorry, I'm a woman and that's the perspective I see things from") have a tendency to give everything away even our reserves. Then we expect people to pour back into us like we've given to them. We don't take the time to figure us out. We don't see the benefit of giving ourselves the time we need to become fulfilled. We are taught, indoctrinated to not be selfish, but time and time again those around us take from us without a second thought. Its not nice that they do this and in some cases its intentional embezzlement, BUT ultimately its our fault, when it can be stopped by setting a boundary, saying no, refusing to perform without a clear understanding that there is a contract in place. In other words Lisa's expectation to be included in Charles world, plans, thoughts etc, should not be hinged on the fact that she simply fits into his world neatly. If you want to lambaste Charles for enjoying the sacrificial lamb that has simply laid itself at his feet, go ahead, but right now my concern is with getting the rest of us potential sacrificers up off that alter of "giving up my self" and putting us back on our two feet and figuring out what we, each need to take care of ourselves. Besides its about time folks learn how to make clothing with something else besides the wool off our backs. They will appreciate and VALUE us more when we finally do decide to give them some wool and we will love ourselves so much more in this mutual giving relationship than operating from a place of perceived powerlessness and manipulation. Phew! That was a lot to pull together in a closing, but I suspect this is a topic that is not over. Not the topic of Lisa and Charles, but taking care of ourselves. As a good friend of mine says, "I've done all I can do for them." lol