If you didn't read the first one, read it and then come back. Otherwise you're hopping on in the middle of the ride.
I called Lisa manipulative like my mom... let me talk for a minute about that. See my mom is the type who wants something and she was never encouraged to figure out exactly what she wanted. I think she was put in a position to believe that nice women don't ask for what they want much less demand it. When we buy for her, she won't say, I don't like that, its too short or too bright, but you get the feeling something's wrong. Its like you've scratched her back, but you didn't hit the spot. She won't say you didn't, but her body language and behavior screams you didn't hit the spot. You ask "where else can I scratch?" and she says, "never mind", so you don't. But you just know you've disappointed her. I am my mother's child and I do it. That's why I suspect that its an issue with Lisa.
So you don't know what you want, or you have a vague idea...you want someone/ something to make you happy,"scratch your itch" without you having to ask or impose by telling them what you want. I understand that. I also get manipulation...all women get it. Some are more devious, more subtle or more forceful, but thanks to society we all have a bit of it. Nothing scares me more than a man who manipulates better than a woman. Why because, men are raised to naturally feel empowered, a man who feels he is so powerless that he must operate subtly like a female, is a VERY angry man, and most of it is probably directed at women. It was more than likely momma that made him feel so weak and powerless. Trust me its just seething under the surface and he will do things to you that can be worst than battering you...and he may do that too. I have met him a couple of times. If he does scratch your itch its so that he can pinpoint exactly where to plant the knife in your back...
See women have learned to usurp power because they had to. What do you call a man who wants power...a go getter, a hustler, a man with drive, a man to be reckoned with, etc. What about a woman who wants power? A ball buster, bitch, man hater, Hillary Clinton, Jazebel.
Remember the biblical story of the woman who basically left one husband/brother for the more powerful one. John the Baptist apparently "put his mouth on her", but he was a "made" (in the Italian sense) man, so he was safe. This woman figured out that her new husband was hot for her daughter, and thus we have the dance of the seven veils. The daughter did what we would now probably call a combination pole/lap dance. After which daddy dearest said "day-um baby gurl, name it, its yours up to half of what I got." Her mother said, "ask for John the Baptist head on a platter." Thus the phrase "head on a silver platter". Another one of my favorite manipulators that is looked upon more favorably is Abigail. She was married to a big idiot and the poster child for alcoholics. He pissed off the famous David. Made David so mad, he said everything at the man's house that had a penis was going to die...what, you don't believe me? I think his exact words were everything that pisseth on the wall. Women and female animals pee on the ground. A servant went and told Abigail. She got together some good groceries, probably took a bath in Japanese Cherry Blossom from Bath and Body, put on some Oh Baby lip gloss by MAC and rode out by herself to meet this mad man. When she got to him, she offered him the food and sweet talked him into not destroying her household. She went back home waited for her husband to sober up, told him what happened. He died of shock. Cool part of the story is that David remembered this smart beautiful woman who kept her head under pressure. She became a wife of the king. One more smart manipulator. Rahab the Harlot. Yep a Craigslist girl. Saw men come into the town and realized things were about to go bad in Dodge. She made a deal with them that if she hid them in her home, she and her family would be spared in the pursuing attack. Now I've never heard anyone say this, but I think she knew she could hide them because of who she was. She probably knew that she could distract the guards if they came looking with her...uh well, skills(I bet she could do a mean booty clap).
For good or evil women have employed skills to get what they needed or wanted. I said that to point out that not all manipulation is bad. Its bad when you don't know what you want, you want others to make you happy, and you have no bases for happiness in your mind. More than likely one or both of you will get hurt and/or damaged. Ok I'm gonna leave the Charles and Lisa saga and put myself in the hot seat.
When I was in college, I was a straight laced, no nonsense Christian...well that was after two years of partying hard, being put on academic suspension, being on probation for several write ups and throwing a birthday party for a friend in a basketball player's room...what? The athletes had larger rooms, extra money for nice sound systems and it guaranteed there would be plenty of men at the party. But, I digress :) So I became a serious, self righteous pious "Christian". Well everyone knows once you get "saved", you look for a Godly man to marry. (Lets not forget, I was the poster child for commitment phobia). So I locked in on this dark chocolate drop who hung out with our group. Took months before I realized he was the brother of a fraternity guy I had crushed on for almost a year. Yeah there was some subconscious stuff going on there. But I was the good Christian girl...most of the time, and we hung out together all the time, met his mother, cooked for him, he met my family. Things progressed nicely and our group encouraged it. He changed schools and we continued to see each other. I graduated and moved to NY. Now somewhere along the way, I fell out of love with such a strict lifestyle, but didn't get around to telling him. He thought things were still the same so when he made plans to come see me in NY, I wrote him a dear John letter. I thought things were settled, no harm no fowl...boy was I wrong. First, about a year later he called me with his fiance on the phone to let me know he was getting married. Imagine the shock of hearing he was marrying a dorm mate of mine. Oh well I deserved that right? But it wasn't over, about 8 years ago he reconnected. Turns out he was divorced, and living in a military town close by. We talked and talked. We met for lunch a couple of times and then Valentines day he woke me up with a phone call. He wanted to know what I was doing. I told him I was going to an Agape love feast and he asked if he could come along. Wow! this is the stuff great love stories are made of. Thats what I was thinking. To make a long story just a bit longer, we went he paid for everything, it was a dinner hosted by my friend's church. Nothing particularly romantic or overwhelming. When the evening was over, as we parted he delivered a punch to the face and a kick to the gut...not literally. He shared that he always thought it was cute how I liked him and how he never really felt the same way. Ok,so the guy revised history a helluva lot and if you need proof, my best friend from college will tell you the facts, but you will have to let her fuss about how crazy he is before she tells you how things actually were. What I am getting at is that this man on two separate occasions took the time to try and hurt me like I had obviously hurt him. What sicko would plan to spend Valentines day with someone he secretly hates. I gotta admit it was a twisted cool plot. But he obviously felt manipulated and used...and he was. I mean he was cute, he was a Christian and so I thought "hmm that's what I need to make me happy and complete my matching set." He doesn't know it, but he got off easy. I've said it dozens of times. If I had married young I would have made some man's life pure H-E double hockey sticks. No doubt about it. I had no clue who I was, what I wanted, or even where I was going.
Hmm, this has taken so many twist and turns can I really bring it to a sensible closing? Well go grab a snack and come back for the conclusion in Part 3.
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