I'm a big Carol Burnette fan. I loved her as Eunice, cause her family was more dysfunctional than mine and she couldn't seem to escape her family either. Anywho, my favorite is one where Eunice is trying to display her singing ability. She belts out the chorus to "Feelings" like an injured moose.
Sometimes thats what its like experiencing feelings that are foreign or disarming. But I get why its so important to feel them. They let you know you are alive and that you are actually a part of life. The good, the bad and the ugly. In the past 24 hours had them all. Gotta tell yah I see why folks with Bi-polar get so wiped out.
Like Enuice's horrendous bellowing of "Feelings" feelings can assault your delicate sensibilities, leaving you wondering if its not better to put the wall up and prevent such attacks. In the past I would have said, "Hell yeah! Let me help you with those bricks". I am one of the queens of protect the family jewels (your heart). Those of us with weight issues have a tendency to do that, falling back on food as the safest lover, friend, family member. However, living without living and always looking over your shoulder to anticipate when someone is going to hurt you is not living at all. You are limiting yourself and those around you. There are people all around you who want to be there for you. Someone who wants to love you like you need to be loved (whether you admit it or not). And, you have something that someone else needs in their life.
We are so attached to our electronic devices because they are another brick in the wall. The person at the other end of a text, fax, email, i.m., phone call is not as real, not as alive and easier to reject, to not take seriously.
Well I've decided that I'll take the feelings good, bad and ugly. I chose life. I chose to love, life, cry in real time. Its one less thing that I will run to food for. As I have said before I make the rules. Each time I experience a feeling I will embrace it, welcome it and grow from it. I may not like the taste of it, but I think I will like the look of it on me better than the look of another candy bar, fast food option or other feeling killing food.
I like your description of crying in real time. You never really think about that, but so often in life things happen so quickly that you fail to experience the full effect of the emotion. We are definitely quick to cry and get over it, but sometimes slowing down long enough to cry in real time allows you to feel the hurt fully and then more easily let it go.
ReplyDeleteGood point, went to a real tear jerker movie last night "My Sister's Keeper". It was incredibly freeing to consciously decide to openly cry and experience the movie. I left less drained than I normally do when I sit in a movie determined to be strong and not let the feelings over take me. I guess a real time cry is soul cleansing. Thanks for reading and commenting! It was a pleasant surprise.
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