Ok, so by now in case you haven't figured it out. There is someone, I hang out with who has caught my attention and a bit more. Its a friendship, however being a controlling person, I've tried to define it, put it on a specific track, tried to set the pace...oh you name it, I've tried it. Fortunately, my friend is a bit saner about life than me and is frankly chugging along at his own enjoyable pace and when I manage to chill his pace is pretty cool.
Being the bright and intelligent woman I am, I see that the actions mentioned above can only irritate him, frustrate me and ultimately drive a wedge between us. So I am working reeaallly hard to do this chill thing and enjoy his pace.
Ok, ok, I told you guys I would be truthful with you and here is the truth. Tonight for the third time I have had someone I would expect to support me in my endeavors to say, leave him be...as in he's a nice man going at a nice pace and you should enjoy the ride.
When my best friend in this life tells me I better enjoy the friendship and don't try to push it other places, and literally twist my arm to get a promise out of me, I was a bit surprised. Then my own flesh and blood says the same thing and then to night my very own dear mother says the same thing. Well I don't have to eat the entire cow to know its beef. Guess I need to let the "nice man" be my friend and enjoy his friendship. Don't get me wrong, they aren't anti-him on the contrary the two that have met him, like him and would welcome him at anytime. The third likes what she's heard from gossiping family and what I have shared. They just have issue with his controlling friend.
Moi! Can you believe it? They subscribe to the theory all good things in their own time...what malarkey.
For those of you who have read my postings and you have half a brain, you've guessed I like to know how it works, when it works and how I can make it work. Not so I can boss it, but just so that I know. Its that crazy childhood thing again. Unpredictableness(is that a word?) causes you to crave predictability, and hopefully if you can predict it, it can't hurt you.
Fortunately I have people who love me and aren't afraid to tell me the truth when I need to hear it. And after they've beat me over the head with it several times I began to get it. Funny thing is when it clicks I usually think it was my idea. I thought some more about the "getting a life" post. Chilling out over this friendship is a part of that as well. Life should be lived to its fullest and each relationship should be enjoyed to its fullest exploring the possibilities. Both life and some relationships have limitations. We don't know until we hit those points along the way. Sure the limitations are disappointing and sometimes they even hurt, but hey that's life. Well, its a life worth living right? For the time being, thanks to the traitors in my camp who imparted some wisdom, I plan to enjoy life and this friendship to its fullest, who knows the possibilities could be infinite for both...then again there may be limitations. Well until the maybe's turn into realities I say "full speed ahead, bring on life!"
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